Really, this won't hurt a bit!

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Ah, those sneaky saucepans, luring shy, innocent veggies to their saucy deaths!

I, for one, was so shocked by this saucepan's behavior that I added a stern message below:

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In addition to the "death by saucepan" motif, there's a cute cooking boy as well:

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If you were around for the first time I shared this pattern, you may have been privy to our comments on the baker's generously-sized derriere. The baker pattern was hereby christened, "Baker got back." See, I don't even have to come up with this stuff. I rely on you guys for the really good ones. :) Also on my sheet, there's a teacup-headed baseball player "stepping up to the plate" (har, har), a smiling flour canister making eyes at a scoop, cross stitch borders and veggies, salt and pepper shakers and salad dressing, smiling milk and mixing bowl, and moustachioed frying pan brandishing a faceless frankfurter while a horrified egg looks on, (whoa, violence galore on this one!) a baking girl that says "Bake on Saturday", and a mammy-looking pattern with a cake. By the way, thank you to my stitching friend Drewzel, for sending me the rest of this pattern!

Birds in the Brandy

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This bird had a bit too much to drink. This sheet has 6 large designs for kitchen towels. 3 feature the antics of these cute little birds - a mama bird with a baby in a teacup for "China", a bird admiring its reflection in a silver pot for "Silver", and this one, with the bird sleeping one off, for "Glass." 3 other designs show a puppy with a teacup on its head (for China), a bear holding a champagne flute (for Glass), and a kitten holding cutlery (for Silver). What's oddest about these 3 cute designs is that not only are they cute animals... they're cute animal puppets. On hands. Can it get any stranger or cuter? Now, jog my memory, people - did someone embroider one of these weird hand puppets awhile back? I think someone did, but I can't remember who or where I saw it. Have you embroidered this? Any links would be appreciated!

Also 3 adorable potholder motifs of critters holding signs: the kitten's sign says "Don't Burn Your Paws", the bear's sign says "Careful Hot Pots" and the puppy's sign says "Watch Out It's Hot." One more small design of the adorable bird burning its feet on a hot pan. My envelope is in perfect shape, and my transfer sheet is complete and uncut.

Be an Angel

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My envelope is in perfect shape, except for a little fading in the corner and I have one complete, uncut sheet, numbered 668. Here is the Thursday design - shopping for Angel Food and Star Dust! This reminds me of the time I tagged along to a parole meeting when I was 7 or 8, and the parole officer had written an enchanting list of substances on a chalk board, one of which was Angel Dust. I seriously thought they were all discussing pastries. Ah, youth. :)

Bear in Mind, It's Wednesday

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There are 7 cuddly bear motifs on this sheet numbered 662, featuring the bear washing, sitting astride a giant iron, sitting on a wooden spool mending, dusting and cleaning, wearing a hat and purse while shopping, baking cookies, and on Sunday, relaxing with a book and a butterfly. Each day of the week design says "Bear in mind" on the top - beary cute, eh? Three smaller designs show the bear with a steaming kettle, a smoking pot, and a cooking spoon that would be cute for potholders. Also cross-stitched lettering that says "Hot Pots", "Hot Pans," "Holder," and a cross-stitched border with tea kettles and daisies.

My transfer sheet is almost complete and unused - 1 small potholder motif has been cut and used, but it's still in the envelope. I've never stitched these little guys - have you? :)

Goldilocks and post-porridge madness

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This sheet tells the story of Goldilocks and the three bears - so there's a lot of porridge-eating and running from bears. Additionally, Goldilocks appears to get confused and as you see above, does a bit of bear-chasing, herself. Baby Bear steals the show with some cute antics although what he's doing in that tree - eh, let's not go there. :) There are also beautiful cross-stitch border designs. My envelope is in good condition but the transfers are partially cut, used, and incomplete. I'm missing the cute motifs of Papa, Mama and Baby Bear taking a walk.

I've never stitched this pattern before - have you? I did stitch another of the Goldilocks images, though, and it's looking pretty cute:

Maybe I'll scan that one someday if you're good. Or, maybe I'll get really lazy and not do it. Please don't judge me. :)

Gay Kittens and Puppies For Every Use

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Oh, I think you'll recognize these shocked pets. Truly cuteness overload on this sheet - never have I seen so many cute dogs and cats doing such unbelievably impractical things! There's a kitty in a sombrero, a stern-looking puppy in a sarape, Russian clad puppy and cat doing a dance, a stately looking dog and cat playing cards, cross-stitched scotties, a stargazing pup in pajamas, and numerous sweet dog and cat heads. They are all adorable, but most hilarious, for me, has to be the kitten and puppy caught unawares in their skivvies - pets in underpants?! And they're all very gay, as the envelope declares.

Some motifs on my sheet have been cut and used, and the sheet has (age?) spots. Nevertheless, they're adorable.

Gay "South of the Border" Motifs

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So, it's been quite some time since I shared patterns with you. I decided to re-post some old patterns I had removed. A lot of these are patterns you downloaded in the past and have asked me about, so I'm happy to share them again. These are all vintage patterns that are in the public domain. Some of you may remember the name of the defunct company associated with these patterns - I won't use the company name since it is trademarked and owned by someone else. Hope you enjoy them! :)

I found these inside another envelope, but I could tell by the number at the bottom (133) that this was from another set. My piece has the two cute boy and girl dancers, a couple of cactus and a cross-stitch border. I've wanted this set for a long time, so this was a great "teaser"... :) Oh, and I didn't call her gay. The envelope did. I swear.

My stitched-up version of this senorita is my all-time most popular Flickr pic. Funny huh? It is probably my favorite project, though. Have you stitched up the senorita? Please leave a link so we can have a look see! :)