Can't stop the cat cleaning

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So, you want a cat that does your cleaning? Good luck with that. I share an apartment with two cats and I've yet to bust them with a handkerchief and mop. But I have busted them doing.... other things. Like ralphing on my door jamb and dragging their rear across the freshly mopped floor. Maybe I just need a little more brandy? Then I suppose I'll be seeing all kinds of stuff!

I've stitched two of these "lucky" kittens - the Monday and Tuesday designs. There are 7 large kitten patterns for each day of the week - their bodies are comprised of big cross-stitches. There are two smaller patterns that work well as potholders, and another rectangular image with two kittens that says good luck that would be cute as a framed sampler. My set is 1 complete, uncut sheet.

All the popular girls have tomato escorts

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Yeah, I know my titles are getting weirder and weirder. Maybe it's the heat? Out of nowhere, it is 89 degrees in Manhattan. To give you a clue of how this feels, I haven't moved in about 20 minutes, I am drinking an iced drink and I am still sweating. In places that don't seem like they should sweat.

In any case, back to the transfers!

This gem was donated to me by the lovely Robin - it's a set that is cut but looks complete - 4 motifs for tea towels say "Breakfast", "Lunchtime", "Teatime", and "Dinnertime." Also a "Glasses" towel and a chubby-cheeked tot with an immense dinner knife that says "Silver."

And finally, my favorite, which I've included above - a horrified girl being escorted by a carrot with a cane and a jaunty tomato who tips his hat at her. (I removed the carrot to conserve space and somewhat lessen her psychological damage.) Two smaller potholder designs - a cross-stitch teacup and a big, sweetly smiling tomato. Thanks Robin!

Can you handle the cute? Can you?

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It's a cat in a shoe, peeps. Do I really need to say more? Okay, maybe I do. The cat is fluffy, and it's kitten-sized. It's wearing a ribbon, rather elegantly tied around its fluffy neck. It's curled up in a high-heeled pump. With daisies on it. If that didn't just hit you with cute like an 18 wheeler full of Peeps, I don't know what will.

This reminds me of a fascinating conversation that went down on Feeling Stitchy last week, in which I realized I am guilty of a double standard. If this kitty were cross-stitched, I would have no use for her. I would find her tawdry and silly and excessively sweet. Like, I'm wearing pink lace and I've got-you-in-a-chokehold, sweet. But, as an embroidery pattern, I find her kitschy and retro and silly and cute. Her cute is pretty powerful, but I can handle her cute. Am I alone here? Crazy? Feel free to chime in on this... :)

Also on this sheet are two large floral patterns for pillowcases, neither of which are as seriously, crazily cute as this kitten, however. My sheet is unused and uncut. The owner wrote, in ballpoint pen on the front of the envelope, "Jan 11-62".

This pup does underpants

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flipped

I really like the idea of your pets doing household chores for you. Take, for instance, my handwashing last evening. How helpful it would have been if I had had an adorable puppy to hang my underpants on a clothesline. Not that I can fit a clothesline in my 7 X 10 room... well, unless I want wet underpants dripping on my head. And early this morning, when it came time to blow dry my underpants (they had not dried overnight, due, no doubt, to the lack of a clothesline, and a pup to hang them up properly) I'm sure pups would have cheerfully sprung to my aid. And, he could have even changed the fuse when my blow drier shorted out my ancient outlet. Again.

Puppy dreams aside... on my sheet are 7 helpful pups designs. Also a cute pup in a window, for an apron, and 4 small motifs for potholders. This is the oldest looking of a large batch of transfers I bought on Ebay. The envelope is very tattered, and torn along one side. My sheet is cut and partially used.

Have you stitched one of these pups? Or, better yet, do you have a pup that can help with my household chores? Preference will be given to pups that know how to launder underpants. Thank you.

Go take a bath

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flipped

I'm not a huge fan of baths myself, but I am fond of telling others to take a bath. Why not let this poodle assist? This set originally had 6 poodle days of the week designs for kitchen or tea towels (some days of the week sets don't include Sunday, it seems, since it was a day of rest.) There are two smaller designs for potholders - one with the poodle saying "Don't Burn Your Paws"! :) Also a design for a Mixer and Toaster cover. I can't get over the poodle in a turban, mopping and scrubbing, or sporting cute glasses to do her sewing.

My set is cut and incomplete - I'm missing the Mixer and Toaster cover and the Saturday design. Anyone stitched the poodle? We really need to see that, you know.

Ain't love grand... when you're a bird

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flipped version (for transfer pencil)

It occurs to me that some of you might not be printing out these transfers to trace with a transfer pencil - instead, you put your fabric over the monitor and trace directly. In which case, from now on I'll offer 2 versions - right way and flipped, for transfer pencil. Will I go back and flip all the other ones? Not unless I become a robot. Sorry, but when a girl's got 3 blogs, 2 twitters, and 2 facebooks, she must distribute her time wisely. :)

Here are the birds in love again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it birds. Ain't life grand when you're in love. When you're a bird. You don't have to be so smug about it. Perfect size for a pillowcase (maybe you might want to enlarge your pattern to cover more area.) Or maybe you want to tell these happy birds to stuff it. I won't judge you. We can't all be happy birds in love, you know.

Anybody stitched this? Always wanted to stitch it, but never have...

Can't stop the veggie dancing

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Yet another homage to romance, to let you know my heart is not shriveled and withered... yet. I don't know, but there's nothing like the delightful spectacle of two veggies dancing to give me that loving feeling. You can keep your romantic comedies, Hollywood! Dancing veggies is where it's at.

On my sheet are 3 large dancing vegetable designs: "Vegetable Polka", "Garden Waltz," and the "Vitamin Ballet." Also three dancing crockery motifs - a spoon, teacup, and wineglass all bear polka-dotted skirts and happy grins, representing "Silver," "China", and "Glass." There are 3 large cross-stitch motifs that also say "Silver," "China", and "Glass." Finally, there's a small singing tomato motif that says "Hot Pots", a posing green bean and 6 tiny dancing veggies that would make an adorable border for a table runner.

Two motifs are cut out but appear unused - the rest of the sheet is intact and unused. I may be missing one of the tiny dancing veggie designs, it's hard to tell.

Any of you stitched these veggies before? Show and tell, please! :)